Rainy days and Mondays
by livinlife0215
Summary: Bella moves to Forks to start over. She is widowed. James, her husband was killed in active duty. Will she be able to let down her guard for a new chance at happiness? B/E all human. please be gentle and review. OOC
1. no sunshine

Disclaimer- I am not nor will I ever be SM- I do not own Twilight or the characters. I just like to dream.

Looking for a beta- this is my first fan fic.

Chapter 1

"There," she sighed as she straightened the yellow gingham curtains over the kitchen sink. She had already painted the cabinet doors a sunny yellow to add some light to the outdated kitchen of the old rental home that she had just moved into the week before. God knows that there wasn't much sunshine, period, in Washington much less in her life.

Grabbing her coffee mug and topping of her cup of Folgers, she shook her head as she started to reflect on how she had come all the way from Phoenix to "there ain't no sunshine in my life" -literally- Forks, Washington.

It still is hard for her to believe her story, had she not lived it, it could have been the beginning of a bad fiction novel on the markdown rack.

A day of reminiscence was supposed to be good therapy- right? A reward for unpacking and some Goodwill decorating.

Walking over to the small window set, curling her legs up. Grabbing the throw that was laying there, the rain was pounding against the window that faced the forest. Her hair pulled up in a ratty bun, sweats and a grey Army tee shirt, she sat.

As she sat the rain made patterns on the glass. Patterns of water- patterns of her life.

She married young at twenty. Straight out of college, an associate degree college program, she had always planned on advancing her education in nursing, but time was not on her side. She had a life to live. Right here, right now.The proverbial brown eyed - girl next door fell head over heels for her own personal GI Joe.

James, had been everything that a small town girl had ever dreamed of. Charismatic- to the point that if you didn't know better you would think that he was destined to be a used car salesman. He was a smooth talker. He could have sold ice to a Eskimo. It seemed only fit that he was employed by our nation's finest, the Army, in negotiations for prisoners of war.

Handsome, dirty blonde hair, ice blue eyes with lashes so long they would make a drag queen jealous. His body was hard. Hard in all the right places, abs that were made for running your tongue over. Oh God, could he make her toes curl in bed. A smile crept up, she walked to the large mirror positioned over the mantle. Standing before the mirror looking in, photos reflective of five years of her life chronicles. Lined up in sterling sliver wedding present frames, were James and her life; college, graduation, wedding, honeymoon in Italy, deployment. The End.

College was a fun and carefree time. She worked hard to maintain her GPA while he went to boot camp.

Graduation marked by her cap and gown, pinning ceremony, Strong muscular arms wrapped around her. God he was so proud. Kegs of beer and a

bonfire with lots of our friends. Making love in the tent all night long. Dreams of a long life.

The wedding... How she hated that- of course now that seems so menial. He wanted to see her in a white dress. God - how she argued that they could just elope. Go to Vegas and have Elvis do the deed.

"White washed me out." her weak ass argument.

"Too bad." was the growled response.

Ahh, the honeymoon. They should have just went to the local Motel 6. For all the sights of Italy were lost upon us. Days and nights of love making and promises in the dark. Tantalizing moments of the chase. Teasing touches, followed by sighs of contentment.

He made her feel as though she was the only woman on the Earth. A blind date that ended up in endless pursuit on his part. True Love, young love, a love that was cut short by a deployment to Iraq. Her beautiful virile husband - cannon fodder.She thought bitterly. There wasn't many times that she thought like this. She had packaged away the hurt and put it in a drawer in her mind that she seldom visited. He was so proud of himself. Fighting the war on terror, always the hero in everyone eyes but his own. Selfless in all actions.

A fatal character flaw.

The day of his deployment, forever remembered by a candid black and white that was commemorated by the fucking newspaper. The reporter was infatuated with my beautiful husband in his uniform. A red head named Victoria, I could tell she wanted him. His quote to her for her story was about how he couldn't wait to come home to me. How he would track me to where ever. At least she had kept her promise to him to send me the original.

Damn bloodhound. Or was it sex hound? The night before he left she had teased him.

At the Air base the next morning children were running around, they couldn't grasp the reality of what faced their parents. At least we didn't have that to deal with.

"I'll Do whatever it takes." he had said to her.

"Don't make promises you can't keep." She had shouted over the low roar of families telling their loved ones good bye.

"Love you, more." he had said.

"Love me enough to come home." again with the sarcasm. She donned her full body armor.

"I will, Bella." He stared her straight in the eyes.

With a final kiss he turned and walked away, dragging his duffel. Holding on to her hand as long as his fingers would let him. She held back almost all the tears. Being brave for his sake.

Promises.

He kept his.

He came home.

She remembers flashes of the memorial service. Cut flowers placed around a large photograph set up on a easel. Roses as red as blood. A flag folded and presented to her. Gun shots, loud, making her knees give out. Dog tags. No strong arms to hold her up.

Emptiness.

Blackness.

Blackness in the desert. How ironic is that? Blackness that had her losing her job in the trauma unit at Phoenix General. The endless supply of questions from her so called friends.

"Are you OK?" Was the constant dribble that those around her would ask. It was more for their benefit then hers.

Just. Fucking. Peachy. Thanks for asking.

Sarcasm had always been her armor. A bullet proof vest.

It had helped her get through high school after her parents died in a fiery motorcycle crash. No big life insurance plans to bail her out, she ended up living with different friends through out her senior year. Working after school with under privileged kids from the local reservations, she had saved every dime she could, she would spend countless hours in the local library, relentlessly driven to at least get a degree from the local community college. Nursing was a safe choice.

He was her cheerleader. Her soldier. In the fight that she wasn't fool enough to win. He was the only one who could read her bullshit meter. And call her bluff.

"Job security," her parents had preached to her before entering her senior year. By shear determination, she got over her loathing of blood, able to work in trauma, she found her calling.

Until she lost James that is. She was haunted by nightmares after his death. Him smiling at her, reaching for her hand. Looking up at her while he got his tags tatted on his side. Blasted to bits by a road side bomb.

PTSD is a bitch- it would sneak up in the most inconvenient places. Working a code on a car accident victim, her last day, she was a dissociative mess but didn't see it coming - couldn't see it. Remember she is so very good at packaging things up and putting them away. Too bad you can only do that so many times before you have a sort of brain vomit.

Working on a blonde male that was around 25, what she was told that happened was that she started screaming - of course all she can remember is that wasn't her patient laying there that was her husband. Thank God for her co -worker Angela. The only one who seemed sincere in asking about her well being. To bad she was such a mess that she couldn't have been more receptive to her out reaching, maybe they could have been great friends.

She was her avenging angel of Ativan that day.

Spending a few days on the psych unit wasn't a option. After a heart to heart with her charge nurse and empty promises to take some time off to ' work through her grief', she packed up their meager belongings and googled.

Like most sanely insane heart -broken woman do.

That my friends is how she came to the opposite of sunny dry Phoenix.

Forks.


	2. What if?

Disclaimer- I am not Stephenie Meyers. No copyright infractions intended to her or those artists who's songs I use.

I would really like a review. I am just writting this for my own kicks. But if you like it, let me know.

Chapter 2

I awoke to the sound of thunder. Rolling and rumbling in the distance, it was like a old friend had come to visit. Oh, how sweet.

It was Tuesday. I had my day already sort of planned. I needed to run some errands. Normal moving b.s. I had been living in Forks for thirteen days now, time to play house.

I rolled over in the queen sized bed that was calling my name to cover up my head and go back to sleep. Unfortunately, my alarm had other ideas. Banging my hand on the nightstand, I busted a blood vessel turning the damn thing off.

"Beautiful." I groaned. I walked to the bathroom to run some cold water over it. I brushed my teeth and gave a good look in the mirror. Scary how sometimes you wonder how you get to where you are in life sometimes. The same eyes looked back at me. Yet they were wary, cynical. My skin looked like crap. Hair was beyond help- it needed a good washing much less a trim. I turned on the shower as hot as it would go. Grabbing a towel out of the basket and pulling off the clothes from yesterday, I washed away the sweat from my nightmare.

More of the same, they always were. It had been almost a year since James had passed. The only thing that ever changed in my dreams was the fact that I was starting to lose his face in my dreams. A blur where he used to be.

I wrapped my towel around my body and walked back to my room. I had to get some shit done today. No ifs and or buts, the insurance from the Army wasn't going to make it forever and besides I needed to work. I needed to feel like I was normal. Whatever that was.

I grabbed a pair of jeans, my most favorite pair. They were like a security blanket in a way, a left over from the happy. Old and wearing thin on the back pockets they hung loosely on my hips. I had lost some weight, I grabbed a brown belt and my light blue Columbia sweater that was soft as butter. I went back into the bathroom blow drying my hair and running my chi through some of the fuzz to try to tame it into submission. I added some concealer to my dark circles. A few swipes of the pink and green mascara and I was done.

I walked down the stairs. I was shamelessly thankful for automatic coffee makers. I logged on to my laptop to check out the bank account. I had to supplement my wardrobe, get a new cell phone, and look for a decent car, all that fun stuff.

My new house was close enough to down town that I could walk to the shopping district. Meager as what it was. I had chose this small town, with hopes that small town living would be a nice change from the big town. I wasn't totally lost on the fact that I needed to pull myself out of this black abyss, before I was sitting in the bath tub slitting my wrists.

I grabbed my bag and locked the door behind me. I walked slowly down the oak lined trees. This was my first venture past the gas station on the corner that had all a girls needs. Chips, hot dogs, nachos. Diet coke. Jack. Not that he was my friend on a regular basis but the first few nights alone in the new house - he had been real good company.

I walked past the school zones. Most small towns had the same layout. Elementary, middle school, high school, football fields, non decrepit mini vans with soccer mom bumper stickers. I passed the humane society, hmm, now there way a thought, maybe a new friend. Preferably one that didn't talk. I didn't think my rental agreement had a pet clause. My new landlord Charlie was also the local chief of police. I had to pass by there on my errands I could just stop by. I made a metal route in my head.

He had been so nice to me. In his late 40's he had talked endlessly to me over the phone. Familiar with my current situation, he had given me the ins and outs of who I could rely on for sound advice on a new to me vehicle. I had a little over twenty thousand in the bank. Thanks to working all the doubles I was allowed and selling off the things I could before the move. The insurance for the army was invested in stocks and I really didn't want to touch it if I didn't need to.

Black's Garage was my first stop. I figured I could see what they had the was rebuilt. Charlie had let me know that the owners were close friends of his and they wouldn't screw with me just because I had boobs.

The row of jingle bells sounded as I opened the service door. I was sure that they were left overs from Christmas long ago.

"Yo, be there in a minute!" a muffled voice sounded after a clang. I think I scared some one. It was just a little after 8:00 am. The smell assaulted my senses. Grease, used oil, tires, burnt coffee, and carbon dioxide. I slid into a plastic covered chair, that I was sure was older than I was.

"Sorry about that," a tall man about my age said, as he walked through the garage entrance. He was wiping grease off of his hands with a blue towel. He was huge, dark skinned, a skin tight under armor shirt and jeans with holes on the knees. His hair was black and cropped close. He had sparkling brown eyes with little laugh lines at the corners. He had a platinum wedding band on.

" You must be Bella, I was wondering when I would meet you. I am Jacob Black, owner and local grease monkey." A easy smile crossed his face.

I was surprised for a second. I was not used to total strangers knowing my name. Charlie wasn't kidding when he told me that he would let them know I might be stopping by.

That almost had me feeling warm and fuzzy on the inside.

" I need a car- as appealing as walking in the rain was I don't want to do it everyday." I grinned. See I could interact with humans. I hadn't forgotten after all.

" Charlie told me that you might be needing one. I have three that I kept on hand so you could have a choice." he replied back.

" Thanks, you really didn't have to do that if you had other buyers though." I quickly shot back.

" You might change your mind when you see them, but really it was no big. they aren't much to look at but I rebuilt them myself. I am the best here in town. Charlie told me and my dad what you were looking for. I am glad to be of help." He said with a small smile.

News travels fast in small towns, I could easily tell this was where people made casseroles for each other in times of need. Neighbors looked out for one another. Lawns were well kept. Kids played outside alone.

Maybe this was what I needed. I had been alone since I lost James. I had build a wall, not to keep others out- but to see who would climb over. No one succeeded. Not that anyone really tried. I wasn't ready to have friends in Phoenix. Always a loner till James, I had never been popular, never had a boyfriend - of course I had no family to speak of after my parents died. Maybe a great something or other out there some where, no one sent Christmas cards.

He walked around the counter, over to the stained coffee pot, pouring two cups and offering one to me.

"It is early in the season for it to be getting this chilly. We may be in for a long winter."

Great I had reduced him into talking about the fucking weather. Way to go with those outstanding social skills.

" yeah, That would just be par for the course for me, I don't do anything easy. " Snarky.

He chuckled. "Well lets go have a look."

He lead me through the garage. A huge lab lay on a worn rug in the corner. He rolled his brown eyes up at us as we passed.

"I think that I am going to look at the rescue center for a dog." I was making small talk. I was still trying to make nice with the human.

"You don't need to do that."

"oh, I guess that Charlie would let me have a pet." Remembering that Charlie had said that he was close friends with the Black's. I figured that Jacob was just letting me know that pets were a no go.

"No, I have a litter of six at home, you are more than welcome to have one. I just gave them their last shots and worming last night. They are all lab. Momma is at my house with my wife. Camelot, here is my guard dog." he finished with a small chuckle.

I was feeling a little overwhelmed by the generosity. I could feel the ropes of anxiety worming their way around my legs. I took a deep breath.

" I would feel bad just taking a pup, I can pay. But I would love to see them." I rushed out.

We had walked across a small gravel parking lot. There were three vehicles lined up next to five empty frames. There was a blue four door sedan, a older sports car and a older model red truck.

"How much for the truck?" I asked.

"Twenty five hundred. she has a lot of, umm, character." he looked over at me.

"I'll take it." it was me; used but not ready for the wrecker just yet.

"how about you drive it around for the day, see if you really like it, I close at 6:00, you can meet me here and then I can take you out to my house to see about that puppy." he looked me in the eyes. Try as I could to find one ounce of pity it just was honest to goodness nicety. It was amazing to me that people really did try to help one another.

"umm, thanks." was all I could say. He pulled a set of keys out of his pocket. the truck had dealer tags already on it.

"be safe and I'll see you later." he said as I was getting behind the wheel.

"k" I started her up. At the sound of the loud powerful engine I couldn't help myself I grinned. To my surprise the radio had been updated. I tuned it into a local station that I had found played the perfect mix of old and new. Joan Osborne started blaring, I couldn't help but to think that maybe this was divine intervention. Maybe God was one of us. I wasn't ready to believe that, though it did make me think. I had been off of work now for almost four months. Thinking was all I had.

I pulled out of the lot. I had spent sometime just sitting there, Jacob had walked back to the inside. I acquainted myself with all the knobs. Thankful that it was a automatic, it was also four wheel drive.

My stops were close together after that. I stopped by and got my new phone set up. I had only a home phone before. I wasn't sure that I would like having a phone on me all the time. But then again who would call me. I thought ruefully. The bank was relatively easy, just some signing of papers for the account transfers.

It was nearing lunch and I had decided to stop by and talk to Charlie. I found a parking spot on the street and paid my meter. There were lots of stores lined up and down the main road. I figured I could walk around for the remainder of the afternoon. The rain had stopped but a heavy fog filled the air.

I walked up the steps to the town hall. It housed a variety of offices, license, registration, jail. courthouse, public records. It smelled old and musty, like old papers that were mildewed. I walked up the wide stairs following the signs to the police holding station.

I opened the glass door to a small generic waiting area. There was a bell on the desk, I hit it. Jumping as the sound triggered a buzzing behind the glass window. The most beautiful blonde supermodel looking woman walked out of a partially closed door.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

" I am here to speak with Charlie." I told her.

"You are Bella, correct?" she said. It was more of a statement than a question.

"The one and only." I could already tell that she had heard about me. Charlie must have had a really swell time filling all the locals in on the poor widow. I just hoped it wasn't all just a pity party. I was looking forward to finding out who I really was. I know that I had grown; I just hoped it wasn't that I was going to have to walk around knowing that everyone knew me already. Or about me, for that matter.

Before I could answer properly, the door she had walked out of opened and Charlie emerged.

"Bella! What a nice surprise. I was just talking about you to Rose here." he said.

"Hi," I mumbled. She was very intimidating in her beauty. Bitch.

There was not a hair out of place, she wore a trim pin striped pants suit, make up was subtle but perfect. I was feeling like a slob.

"Nice to meet you, as Charlie said I am Rose- Rosalie Hale. I am Charlie's assistant." She had walked around to the heavy door and pushed it open for me. I walked into the main part of the office.

"I was wondering if you had eaten lunch." There I spit it out. I was looking at Charlie when I spoke. I had wanted to get to know Charlie more. He had seemed very genuine during our phone conversations and when I had meet him at the house with the movers we hadn't had a lot of time to talk. I was busy directing the placement of my few belongings.

"Sure, Rose and I were just getting ready to go out and grab a bite."

"Oh, well if this isn't a good time then maybe we can just talk on the phone later." I wasn't sure I was ready to make nice.

"Nonsense." Rose interrupted. She was giving me the stink eye. What the hell...

I wanted to talk to Charlie, don't get me wrong. I just wasn't sure about her. She seemed a little cold. But maybe I was just imagining things. I was becoming determined to move out of my personal comfort zone.

"If you are sure..." I trailed off. Just giving up.

They got their jackets off the coat rack hanging on the wall. There was a diner just next door. Again typical.

We walked in silence, when we entered the small diner I felt like I was thrown back into time. There were old men sitting at the counter drinking their coffee, gossiping or reading the paper.

We sat down in the back corner booth; a waitress took our orders of the special of vegetable soup and grilled cheese. I thought my stomach might just revolt from some real food. I had been living on junk for the last week.

We made small talk at first. I filled them in on my morning and what I had gotten done. Rose nodded appropriately and gave me some good pointers on where to find some clothes to tide me over till I could make a trip to Seattle. I gave Charlie my phone number and I was shocked when Rose asked if she could add it to her phone also. I got their numbers. We talked about the town and I actually felt myself smiling numerous times during our lunch and not once I swear to you was I sarcastic. A big bonus was that Charlie was really great guy all around - the kind of guy I wished that had been my dad. Wow where did that come from. I had lost it. I just knew it. This was not like me. I did not make friends, I didn't make small talk. At least I hadn't for a really long time. It was disconcerting.

Rose had mentioned that her fiancée was in town, they were going to go out this weekend. She gave me a pity invite. Of course being deprived for any sort of companionship for so long on my self imposed ban on people in general, I didn't accept although a small, mind you very small piece of me wanted to accept.

The hour passed quickly. I realized that they needed to go back to work and I needed to finish my errands. Charlie had agreed to let me have my dog. I was ecstatic I tell you!

"Rose, why don't you take the afternoon off and go with Bella."

Charlie say what?!

"That's OK- I am not much of a shopper and it makes me very grumpy." I interjected.

"Bella, I would love to tag along, if you would let me."

Drat. Where these people for fucking real? It almost felt like I had stepped into some third dimension of Nice-ville. I was waiting for the body snatchers. See there, my cynical side was just laying in wait for the opportunity to expose its self.

So what could I say to that? You tell me.


	3. What it takes

Standard disclaimer. No copyright infrigement is intended. All recognizable characters belong to SM. I am just having a wild imagination.

I am glad that I have some readers- it is really exciting. I have to go back to the work world in the morning so updates will be slower.

Chapter 3

I followed Rose and Charlie back to the city building. It was a little after noon. Charlie was going to call in someone to cover for Rose. The matchmaker song was floating through my head- you know...

"Matchmaker, Matchmaker, make me a match..." anyways.

While waiting for Rose to change out of her work clothes, I made more small talk with Charlie. I found out that Jacob was married to Leah. His childhood sweetheart, they were expecting their first child in about three months. Charlie asked how old I was,

"I am turning the big 3-0 in about three weeks. You know its the new twenty." I kidded.

"I will have to remember that- the big 5-0 is?" he asked.

"Over the hill." I snorted.

It felt right. Comfortable banter between myself and another, crazy, who would have thought...

"Ready," Rose interrupted my train of thoughts. She had changed into jeans and a hoodie. She had also pulled her hair back in a ponytail, she looked great - but I was comforted that she could be 'normal' too. We said our goodbyes and walked out.

There was an outdoor shop across the road. Newton's was the name on the sign, the red neon one said open. Rose had told me earlier that this was the only place that had any type of decent clothing. I would have to wait until I could make a trip. Unfortunately, my clothing was not going to cut it here in Forks. My wardrobe was lacking in the warmth department, I had the pair of jeans I had on, a few pair of ratty sweats, two sweaters and a handful of sweatshirts.

We stepped into the store, immediately noticed by a slender guy with a Newton's polo on, he said,

"Well fancy seeing you here, Rose, I didn't think that we were worthy of your presence, much less your fashion tastes."

I don't know what came over me- I was lit. My face flushed, I felt a red haze wash over me.

"I don't know who in the hell you think you are..." I was winding up.

"Bella please, as if what this shit for brains thinks is worth your breath. He just has little man syndrome..." Rose interrupted me. I held up my hand to stop her.

"I am sure that Mike (reading the name embroidered on his shirt) here will gladly give up his commission to his coworkers now, since he has been busted." I pointed to the older man with glasses who had just come out of the storeroom in time to hear his, I assumed son, turn away sales. The man looked like his head was going to spin around.

"Ladies, I am sure that Jessica would be of much better assistance to you in your shopping endeavors." Mike Sr. said, when his face was returning to a more natural shade of red.

A dark haired girl who had way to much energy bounced over, she was like a Jack Terrier on speed, honest to God. I dismissed her quickly, I am a big girl I can handle picking out my own things. Rose hung out close by, I was surprised she wasn't pushy. She offered advice when she thought I needed it. I admit it was kind of nice.

I piled up my to be purchased. I knew that I didn't want to buy all of my things here but once that excitable little thing let me be. I found that they carried enough to get me through a few more weeks. Boot cut jeans, cords, sweaters, thermals, waterproof boots, nicer boots with some tread on them, thick socks, a light weight rain resistant jacket and a heavier winter coat all went to the counter. Thank God that they were a authorized Columbia dealer.

Rose and I had picked up a nice pace in our conversation. I found out that she was from Forks. Miss Homecoming Queen 1995. She was smart, and had a smart mouth with quick wit. She sat while I was trying on clothes. I found myself talking about things I had never talked about to anyone. She talked openly about her family. Jasper, her brother, was dating Alice. They lived in Port Angeles. He was in business and she had a small upscale boutique that sold everything from formal wear to casual. Rose had been dating Emmett for the past year. He worked in a local national park as a game warden. Rose had went to school in Seattle but returned home when her father had a stroke at a young age. She helped her mom with his care and worked at the jail. We both loved different styles of music and books. It was comforting to me.

We left the store after about an hour, taking my packages over to the truck, I noticed Rose was looking at with distaste.

"What? It has character?" I asked.

"I am glad your taste in clothes is better than your taste in vehicles." she dead paned.

"Wait till you see my taste in men." I retorted.

Where had that come from? I had not even thought about dating. In fact, the whole idea scared me shitless. I was never a flirt. As far as I was concerned my shop was closed. Those needs were meet when needed by BOB and a supply of C cell batteries. There was more to life than sex, much less meaningless one nighters. I had went out a few times with the other wives, but ended up being the sober one who sat back and watched them make asses of themselves.

It had started to rain again, we ducked into a little coffee shop for a much needed break. Munching on some homemade cookies and drinking cappuccinos we continued to talk. It was very strange to me to have a easy going conversation with someone. - much less someone that I had just met. We were talking more about my plans to look for a job when her phone rang. My Sharona blared from her Blackberry.

"Alice. Excuse me for a minute."

"Hey Al, I am sitting at The Coffee house with Bella. Ya that's who I was telling you about..."

I felt bad listening to her conversation; I excused myself to the restroom to give her a chance to talk. I looked like something the cat had drug in seriously. I needed to remember to ask Rose where she got her hair done at. My hair was having serious issues with the wet weather. I walked back out to our table, sat and resumed drinking my coffee.

"I'll ask her, no damn it I promise I will. love ya whore. C-ya"

Rose put her phone away in her Coach bag. I waited for her to situate herself, she took a long sip of her drink. Wait for it...3,..2...1...

"You wouldn't be up to a girls night out? Would you?"

Ummm, that would be a big negative. "Not yet. I still have lots to do; I have to finish unpacking and getting my house situated." I quickly explained.

"I figured. But you have to meet Alice. She won't take no for a answer. You thought Jessica was a hyper mess. Alice is worse in some ways but she means well. She is beautiful person."

"Maybe you both could come over some evening and we could hang out." I offered. I really think that I was having one of those brain vomit moments again. Diarrhea of the mouth.

"Hey you know what, I think that Alice is off on Wednesdays, I have some PTO that I need to take or I am going to lose it. We could come over in the morning and help where you needed us to, then we could take off and show you around this happening place." the last came with an eye roll.

"I don't need your help..."

"No I insist. Bella, I don't know much but I want you to know that I don't make friends easily. I have never taken off work to hang out with a total stranger. I would like to think that maybe we were destined to meet."

Shit. What do you say to that?

"Thanks. I just don't want to be anyone's charity. I have been the pity party for too long. Me being my own biggest fan..." I trailed off. I could feel tears starting to burn my eyes. What the fuck. I haven't cried forever. I thought I had forgotten how.

"I don't do charity. I think that Alice will actually be speechless when I tell her that one."

I still needed a few more things. We said our goodbyes and I headed over to the local shopping strip. It wasn't much but there was a Walmart and a Kohl's. It was getting close to 3:00 -I needed to hurry. I whipped the red beast into the closest space I could find and ran into Kohl's. It had been to hard for me to keep our bedding. It was a constant reminder that I was alone. I grabbed a bed in a bag, it even had curtains- this was my kind of shopping. I got some new sheets, and splurged on a down feather bed topper. I paid for my purchases and after running through Walmart like a mad woman I was thinking I was finally set.

I felt like I was replacing my life in a way. I had bought all new, a new toothbrush, different smelling soap and laundry detergent. It was time to head back to the garage. I had already made up my mind. I was getting the truck.

I turned the key and turned up the radio. Someone trying to tell me something, I swear.

Tell me what it takes to let you go...

I flipped that sucker off as fast as I could. I pulled into the garage lot. I heard a chime. It took me a minute to realize it was my phone.

"Hello"

"Hey its Rose, I wanted to let you know tomorrow is a go. Are you a early riser or no?

"Not so much a morning person."

"Alice and Jasper are coming in tonight to stay with Emmett and I. I will hold Alice up as long as I can but I am not making any promises." she chuckled darkly.

"that doesn't sound promising. I'll see you in the morning then."

"k bye!"

I folded my phone shut. I wasn't sure if I wanted to be happy or scared. It had been a long time since I had friends. I wasn't sure how to act.

The bells sounded again as I pulled the door open. Jacob was on the old desktop typing away.

"Hey" he said.

"Hi there. I am going to take her." I reached into my bag to grab my check book.

"Did you decide on the puppy?" he asked as I scribbled out a check.

"Actually I was thinking that with me going back to work soon now wouldn't be the best time. It would have to be home alone often and that isn't fair". I told him.

"Well that is a good enough reason. You can call us anytime if you need anything; I do all of Charlie's repairs on his houses."

I handed him my check- it was a starter but he didn't seem to mind. I was thinking to myself, the hell with Wives, this was Stedford Town.

"You can bring her back anytime if she starts giving you problems. Tires are new, engine rebuilt from the block up. heater is warm, there is no air as I am sure you noticed." he added ruefully.

"Thanks again." I looked back at him and smiled.

Oh my God, I smiled. I SMILED.

I. FUCKING. SMILED.

I just realized that I had pretty much been smiling all day. It's a wonder my face didn't crack. Maybe nice- ville was really not so bad after all. I walked back to the truck and got in. It was 80's night on the radio station. I think I could get used to this small town living thing at least they had good taste in music I thought to myself.

I pulled the truck up close to the house and after what seemed like fifty trips out to haul in my goodies. I ran up the stairs to change out of my damp clothes. The wet was never ending it seemed. I heated up a pot pie in the oven while unpacking my goodies. I would have to do some laundry tomorrow. I was not about to start that tonight. I felt like I had been training for a marathon, being gone all day. I got my dinner and walked into the living room. Sitting on the little window seat, as I ate, I reprocessed my day.

There was that chiming again. I jumped up and ran to the kitchen. I didn't" t know the number of course.

"Hello"

"Hey Bella, its Charlie. I was just checking in. I talked to Jake and he told me that you opted out of the dog idea."

"Yeah, I am going to start looking for a job next week. I should have a Washington State Nursing license in the next few weeks. I applied right before I moved."

"If you need anything feel free to call. There have been some reports of some wild animals getting into trash here locally. If I need to build you a container just let me know."

"Thanks. Umm, what kind of animals?" I wasn't sure I really wanted to know though.

"Just normal area wildlife. Coons are bad, but we have been known to see a few bear when the weather starts to cool off."

Great. Bears. Just Great.

I bit back a groan. "OK I will keep a eye out. Night."

"Night."

I closed my phone and took it with me as I walked up to my room. I didn't worry about making my bed up with the new things. This was a farewell of sorts I guess.

My last night with my past.

I looked at the picture beside my bed. It was of James and me in Italy, we had left the room once to explore. As much as I wished he was still here with me. I knew that he would not want me to be all alone.

Friendless.

When I closed my eyes I could almost feel him wrapping his arms around me.


	4. Landslide

Chapter 4

No copyright infringements are intended to Stephenie Meyer or to the artist's who's songs I have borrowed.

AN: Sorry for the delay- life kinda got in the way of writing.

. Thump. I was dreaming that there was a elf banging the lid on my cedar chest over and over. Open, close, thump, open, close, thump. I could vaguely hear the sound of Calypso music in the background.

Wait. Something is not right here, my brain started processing very slowly the possibility that maybe there are no elves around. I am one who is not the most cheerful in the morning, it takes at least one pot of coffee to clear the cobwebs.

I sat up in bed, the calypso music was coming from my blackberry- which meant it was past wake up time- OK one mystery down, now the for the thumping mystery. I grabbed my robe realizing that the noise was coming from the front of the house not inside. Assuming that I was not under imminent attack, I grabbed my coffee and check the time on the range. I shook my head, rubbed my eyes and looked again, who in the heck starts pounding at 7:15 am. I looked out the kitchen window and was blinded by sunlight, like a vampire, I backed quickly away from the window gasping. I knew for sure I had burned my retinas.

Thump.

OK I know now that I am not being invaded by elves. To the front of the house I followed the noise, to curious not to find out the source.

As I looked out the front window, I could see a few vehicles lined up the road. I didn't recognize any of them. Upon opening the front door there was a loud thump then a thud as the door struck something solid and then a loud, "oooffff"

Oh Shit. I peeked around the door to see the largest man I have ever laid my eyes upon laying in the holly bushes. He was gaping like a fish out of water. Before I could even process him I heard a screeching sound and there was a red BMW pulling into the driveway like a stunt driver was operating it. Rose was out of the driver side before I could even blink.

"Jesus Emmet, what the hell happened to you?

"I think that I might have been a little early this morning and thought that I would get started on the porch repair. The door done whooped my ass, darlin" he explained, smiling dimples showing.

" I thought that we said 8 ish?" I mumbled more of less to myself.

"You did. Last night though when you wouldn't come out with us we decided that we needed to get a earlier start. Charlie came into the pub for a drink and was telling us about the things that he wanted to get done before winter came on to strong and before you know it, we were all headed home to get a early start." Rose gracefully explained as she handed me a steaming cup of coffee.

"Elves." I muttered.

"Huh?" Emmet had untangled himself from the bushes and was picking leaves out of his hair.

"Nothing. So what in the name of all that it holy were you thumping on?"

"I was putting up your new mailbox" He shrugged.

It was in this moment that I realized a few things. One, I was standing on my front porch still in my pj's, bed head and morning breath, two, a car was pulling in to the curb with a sliver Volvo pulling in close behind, and three I was beginning to like my new life in Forks. All of which I wasn't to sure which was the most scary.

Alice was getting out of her car carrying a bag of bagels, various spreads and what looked to be a gallon of coffee. Bless her. I had already started to drink the one that Rose had pressed into my hand moments ago. I was to busy processing all the activity around me, I had forgotten about the other mystery car that pulled in, I could see a tall blond getting out of the passenger side door and that was enough for me. I didn't need for everyone in Forks to see my snowflake pajama pants and my holey grey tee shirt.

"You guys go ahead and come in, I am going to change."

I turned and sprinted back inside and up the stairs. As I was changing I could hear some of the activity going on in the kitchen, voices ranging from low to high, Normal tones and hushed whispers. I hoped that I wasn't going to be examined like a science fair project gone bad. I pulled on a pair of black yoga pants, long sleeve white tee and my running shoes. After a quick swipe with a brush through my hair, and brushing my teeth, I was on my way back downstairs to see what waited in the kitchen.

The voices grew louder, to my relief: at least there was no one going "shush, here she comes."

"Bella! I'm Alice! Come get some breakfast, and then we can decide on our plan of action." Alice said as she grabbed my hand and pulled me over to the table. While she shoved a plate in my hand, I took in the spread of food that was layed out on the table. Bagels, fresh fruit, spreads, orange juice, and coffee, all this and I wasn't upstairs for more than ten minutes.

I loaded my plate and topped off my coffee while checking out everyone. There was Rose, the dark haired petite pixie like woman who had introduced her self as Alice. Emmet, who I had not so gracefully knocked off of my front porch, and a tall blond with a serious expression leaned up against my sink. Wait, wasn't someone missing? The driver of the silver car, I thought as I walked over to the counter to lean and feed my growling belly.

Bella, this is Alice and Emmett as you already know. Jasper," as she pointed with a piece of apple to the man against the sink.

"Hello." he said as Alice walked over and leaned up against his side. Not like she was marking her territory- it was just a normal gesture for her.

"Hey," I nodded.

My eyes flickered to the hallway, I heard someone walking through the living room. Which meant that I was going to be submitted to yet another introduction of a friend of a ... well I guess a friend, Rose had some how earned that title already in the less than 24 hours that I had known her. And I guess that if any of these people would come to the help of a stranger they were a) completely without a life or b) just plain nice. I was secretly hoping for B.

I took a bite of my bagel smothered with cream cheese, and honest to God, I was expecting another chick to walk in my kitchen with more "lets welcome the young widow" food. What I wasn't expecting was the Hallelujah chorus to start resounding! Oh my God, who was this man walking in! Wait who said that...Before I could continue with my internal dialogue and look like a complete nut job, Alice came to my rescue.

"Bella, this is my brother Edward. Edward this is Bella" she grabbed him by the hand and dragged him across the floor.

"Hi, nice to meet you."

I was trying my best to chew quickly, I swear I was. Chew, chew, chew, swallow, there.

"Hey, thanks for coming."

As we all made the appropriate small talk, introductions were formally made, Rose and Emmet were high school sweeties. He was the football coach for the local high school. Alice owned a small but classy dress shop on the main drag that specialized in woman's wear, she met Jasper in college where he was studying to be a civil engineer. Edward was teaching music theory at the local arts college that was in between Forks and Seattle. They had all pretty much became fast friends and it was obvious that they all cared for one another. Even finishing each others sentences.

It nearing 8:00 by the time we had finished up breakfast and had enough caffeine to motivate.

"ok where do we need to start?" Alice asked me. I knew it took a lot for her to ask - you could just tell that she was like a little Napoleon, used to giving all the orders.

"Well the pod with the rest of my things was delivered yesterday, the painting was done already when I moved in, so I guess we just need to unload and then I can unpack."

"Nonsense, we are here we will help until it is finished." Rose brightly ordered.

Well, I guess that takes care of that, huh?

After a few minutes of debate over what we were going to listen to - because after all "who can work without music?" The ipods were lined up and hooked up to the speakers that Alice had magically produced from her bag. It was decided that since Emmet had already started outside that his playlist would be first. We headed outside after the first sounds on the Beastie Boys " No Sleep till..." blasted.

The pod really didn't have a lot in it as I had already re-bought ala thrift store, but it was enough to keep the six of us unloading and moving boxes for the next couple of hours. We move to the likes of ACDC, Kiss, Motley Crue. It took me awhile to loosen up, while Alice and Rose were screaming lyrics at the tops of their lungs, I wasn't about to join in, but I wasn't above laughing my ass off at them either. The boxes piled in the appropriate rooms, we changed playlists and headed inside.

Ohohoh whats love got to do, got to do with it.

Crap, I thought I had deleted that.

Now I am fairly comfortable with most peoples choice in music, however I was not about to let these guys know that I had everything from the brady bunch to country with a healthy dose of eighties and some rap mixed in on my list. A girl has to have some motivation for the treadmill right?

As I dived for the stereo- I was lifted of the floor.

"No this is perfect!" Jasper had me by the arms.

" What better way to get to know someone, then by the music that they keep." Rose chimed in

"Umm, maybe you are better left not knowing me that well yet"

"I want to know." Edward had joined the fight.

Let me take a minute to tell you, I loved my husband. He was my world. But in that minute, that minute alone I realized how incredible lonely I had become. Here were 5 people, willing to listen to my music, let alone help me tote and unload boxes. If you had asked me before that second, I believed that the only luck I could have was bad, Karma was a bitch. If karma worked on sins from another life I had to be a torturer of the holy during the Crusades.

" I'm so excited" the Pointer sisters exclaimed.

Dear God.

"ok,ok I give. but if there is ONE snicker. I am going to really turn it off. "

And what do you know, as we started unpacking the boxes, I was really surprised at the amount of singing and work that we got done. Alice had an eye for where to place things. The boys were the muscles. I even found myself singing along with them. It was odd at times, when one of my songs would bring up a old memory for them and they would talk about it. But I didn't feel like the odd man out. In fact I felt, at home.

We moved in to the kitchen, Missy Elliot telling up how to work it. I laughed my ass off watching Emmet and Jasper doing pop and lock moves. I think that they were having flash backs. Edward was often there in the background but never really cutting loose. I wasn't sure if he was uncomfortable or just reserved.

"Come on Bella, lets see it. You didn't come out last night, and we missed some serious dance time." Rose was pulling my hand. We had put up all the dishes and pots and pans and someone had brought in a cooler full of beer, we were all leaned up against the counter munching on some chips and sandwiches that Rose had brought.

"Yeah you don't have these songs on here if you can't move to back it." Alice was saying.

The guys ducked out to check out the mail box that had been put up this morning, and I could see that Charlie had popped by to drop off the makings for that critter box he had talked about. What the hell.

I had no rhythm once upon a time, but to keep myself occupied when the guys were in basic, one of the other wives and I had taken a strip aerobics class. I found it was a awesome stress reliever, and a good add in to my work out. James had loved it too, perks of the class were can you say awesome.

"Oh I can work it. I am just afraid that I might not get another invite if I show up the guys."

The girls busted up laughing. "If you can show them up, we will go out tonight!" Alice said. "Those three can make every one in the bar turn and look."

"really Edward too? he seemed like he was shy

"no actually I think that he is feeling your feelings out.

hmmm I am not quite sure how to think about that.

" I don;t know if you guys have noticed this, but umm your men are beautiful. not that you guys aren't, but I am no where near Edward status. he is nice to look at but i am not even sure where i am at in the whole dating thing i haven't done it since..."

"We aren't talking about dating here. Just making new friends and having some fun." Rose interjected.

Well since you have put it like that -what the hell.

"ok, I will go. But I have to finish up with the new things I bought yesterday for my room. If you all need to leave that's fine. I can do the rest this week."

"It looks like the guys are going to be busy for a little outside, we can go up with you and help up there. Then,we can get ready, grab some dinner and hit 'da club'! Alice said.

So we set to work, I took the girls upstairs. It wasn't as hard as I thought, with company, to talk about certain memories of my life. I filled them in on how I came to Forks, and my marriage to James. I could remember things like yesterday.

I was so caught up in my version of story time unpacking my clothes in the closet, I didn't notice that I was the only one working, much less that we had been joined by the guys. I suppose to some that this would have made them mad. I oddly, didn't feel that way. Especially when I backed out of the closet on all fours and found Alice and Rose sitting on the bed with tears in their eyes Emmet and Jasper sitting beside them. Edward was leaned up against the wall. His green eyes found mine, and it felt like he was looking into my soul.

Sometimes, when you have lived through tragedy, it is harder for the people you are telling it to to hear. It doesn't make you a hard person, you have just lost the ability to cry about it.

"well folks, that concludes Bella's tales of not so happy endings" I tried to save face.

"Oh Bella, I am so sorry." Alice said as she jumped up and wrapped her arms around me.

"Well now you all know and I don't have to tell it over and over." I tried to shrug it off with a smile.

Al, let's go make some coffee and give Bella a moment. " Rose stood and grabbed Emmet's hand. Alice and Jasper stood and followed them out.

Edward was studying my face. We had talked on and off all day. Nothing Earth shattering but just small talk. He seemed like an alright person. Smart, reserved, and very , in his faded jeans, tee shirt and flannel, and old work boots, leaning up against the wall, it was hard to miss the long line of his body. He was tall around six foot,hair the color of old pennies.

"Bella, I am so sorry about what you have been through. Although sorry doesn't seem like enough. I am hoping your time in Forks will be a time to make some new friends and new memories." He said, then he turned and walked out the door.

After taking a minute to gather my thoughts and use the bathroom, I joined everyone in the kitchen. It was nearing dinner time. with a mug of coffee pressed into my hand by Jasper, we rehashed what we had finished that day and what would have to be saved for another. determining that this was as good as time as any to call it quits, rose dumped the dishes into the dishwasher and the group took off with the plans of meeting back here in two hours to got out for some dinner and then dancing.

Alice and Jasper left first, with hugs all around. Rose and Emmett followed soon there after. Edward lingered, leaning in the doorway, he watched as I cleaned off the counter and put the leftovers in the fridge.

"Bella, can I ask you something?"

"Well considering that I have told you guys pretty much my whole life history today, I am not sure if there is anything left to ask. But sure you can ask. "

I walked to the living room with him. I sat on the couch facing the fireplace he sat down beside me.

"How do you feel about having friends? I mean, you just moved here. And from what I can tell you are a pretty quiet person, not a lot of family, It must be pretty overwhelming to make friends as quickly as Rose and Alice have deemed necessary. I know that my sister can be a little overwhelming to most people. I am just not sure how to read you."

"I am not sure as where you are going with this. But if you think I am some opportunistic bitch looking for a pity party, you can think again.I came to Forks to give myself a new start. A new job, a new house, no ghosts. I am not a con artist. In fact, I didn't ask anyone to come here today..." I started in.

"Stop," he said hands up. " I knew that wasn't going to come out right. What I mean is what are you looking for? If you are looking for friends then those two are the best you will ever find. They don't like everyone, but when they do find someone who they like - it is forever. I just want to know how willing you are to letting people in."

"I am looking for some friends, Edward. Nothing more. I am a little bit lonely and a little bit crazy. I am a 30 year old widow, who has no family and no friends to speak of. I have tried the alone thing and it was great for about a year. I got tired of living on base, where I no longer fit in with the other wives, because their husbands were coming home. The ones that lost theirs were awesome but after awhile of people asking how you are holding up and how you are doing on finances gets to be a little much for anyone to bear." Oh, I could feel my pulse in my temple.

WHo did this guy think he was? Gorgeous or not, he was way off base here.

"Never mind. I should be going since we are going to go out tonight." Is the big handsome man sacred?

"Actually I would like to ask you a few questions. So no, I don't think that you should go just yet." I was still pissed. I took a long drink of my now cold coffee.

"So what was the real reason you came over here today? Was it just to be an A-1 nice guy and help out a new friend of your friends or were you so curious about the strange new girl that you just couldn't resist? Maybe I am just the new piece of ass in town and you decided to check me out to see if I was worth sampling? So I am curious as to what you think?"

"all of the above."

Well that stopped me in my tracks, no hesitation, no stuttering. Honesty.

He continued, " I have to admit I was curious. Rose told us a lot about you last night and she is a pretty tough to win over. Alice will try to help anyone. If Rose likes you, well there has to be something there. I am single, I was engaged for a period of time. It went south, when I caught her screwing another guy at a party. I have my work, it keeps me busy. I am a nice guy, I like to think so anyway. Rose said you were pretty, not beautiful, like she should have. I am interested in getting to know you better, so there."

I thought for a minute he was going to stick out his tongue at me.

Now what?

"ok so much for making a good first impression. so I am going to go so you can get ready and I will be back here with the gang in about an hour." He stood to leave. I was still processing I think.

"Wait I have another question, where are we going tonight?"

"someplace close and casual. I am assuming you are asking so you know what to wear."

At least we were being civil again.

"Casual is all I have." I said with a laugh. I liked that we could get over being angry quickly.

With a smile he left. I sat there for a few minutes processing the day. It had been a interesting one for sure. I headed up to the shower.

I finished the quickest shower in the history of my life. I finished drying my hair and went into the bedroom. I had about 45 minutes left to get ready.

Flipping on the radio, I sat down in the closet, I knew what box held the pair of pants and top that I wanted. The dj said something about a new Carrie Underwood song. I really liked her. I had a big smile on my face thinking about rocking out alone to "His last name."

Sometimes a song can stop you in your tracks.

Baby, why'd you leave me, why'd you have to go

I was counting on forever, now I'll never know

I can't even breathe

It's like I'm, looking from a distance, standing in the background

Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now,

This can't be happening to me

This is just a dream.

What the hell was I doing. James, I need you.

I need you.

And you are gone.

Tears that I didn't think I still had the power to posses, were streaming down my cheeks. I couldn't do this. I felt sick. Physically sick. Running to the bathroom, I vomited. There should be a fucking ban on music that hits that close to home. There is a reason country music is drinking music.

Pressing a wet wash cloth to my eyes, I sat there backed up against the tub, wrapped in a damp towel. I had some decisions to make. I thought I was ready for the world. Now I was thinking not so much. I got up to call Rose and let her know that I was sick and not going. As I sat down yet again on the bed. I took a long look at our photo.

Soul searching. Did I want to be alone? The big answer was a resounding no. No.

Shakily I reached for the picture. I wasn't going to put it away. People used to tell me to pack his stuff up. That it would help. Does that make it all go away? Who do they think that they are? I didn't want to forget him. I love him. But reality bites. Dark and scary Bella was not going to rear her head and make me walk away from this town. I liked it here.

So kissing my finger and saying a prayer, I grabbed my ipod and the safe music on there. and I took my love, I took it down

Climbed a mountain and I turned around.


	5. Thriller

I have written and rewritten this Chapter a dozen times and I am still not happy with it. So it is mostly filler. So sorry guys!!!  
No Copyright infringement intended.

Chapter 5

I realized, as I was getting ready that I was nervous. Un-fucking- believe-ably nervous. I stood in front of the closet with my robe on and hair wrapped up turban style, trying to find my favorite jeans and a halfway decent shirt. I didn't really have the desire to get all fancy schmancy after the roller coaster of emotions that I had ridden on earlier, nor did I feel the need to try to fit in with the 20 something's who would be out there shaking their asses. I finally settled on a black backless halter top a matching jean jacket and big silver hoops for the ears. In fifteen minutes I was ready and nervous.

The doorbell chimed. When I looked out I could see that the porch was loaded with my new friends. It was soon decided that we would grab some dinner then go from there. Like a middle school dance we split guys and girls for the drive to the NET, a local dive, the girls told me had the best burgers and onion rings.

Like the Spanish Inquisition, the torture began shortly.

"Soooo, what did you and Edward discuss when we left?" Alice literally bounced in her seat when she shut the car door.

"Alice! Give the girl some time to buckle her seat belt" Rose hissed.

"We discussed the probability of me being a serial killer and that I could possibly be the next black widow." I replied.

" I knew we shouldn't have left him there with you." Alice didn't even blink when I gave her my smart-ass response, " he can have the tendency to see and bring the worst in people. "

"No, really it wasn't that bad. He did have some questions about my intentions with you, and he said he thought I might be a good piece on ass."

The car swerved and came about an inch from hitting the guard rail;as there was chaos erupting in the car. I do believe that Rose forgot she was driving for a minute - as her head whipped around. I am assuming it was to look at my face to see if she could tell if I was serious or not.

There was a moment when all you could hear was something like this "OH MY GOD! -HE DIDN'T!-YOU LIE!-WATCH THE FUCKING ROAD!- OH SHIT!-OH MY GOD!"

I am not sure who exactly said what though.

Thankfully, Rose righted the car quickly. It was like she channeled the spirit of Dale Earnhardt there for a minute. I didn't even want to think what the guys were thinking as they were watching all of this unfold behind us in the car.

We had a moment of silence. It was I think so we could all make sure that we didn't need to go home and change our clothes. But of course, being the ladies that we were no one us would own up to it.

"Well that was enough excitement for me for one evening." I deadpanned. "You can take me home now."

We were all snickering- the panic had passed. Don't get me wrong, were all still a little shook up. There is nothing like sharing a life or death experience with someone to bring you closer.

We pulled into the parking lot of the bar. As we were getting out of the car, the guys were pulling in.

"What the hell was that? Rose you scared the crap out of me!" Jasper yelled as he grabbed Alice by the arms to make sure she was OK.

"I was just showing Bella my amazing reaction capabilities," Rose replied over her shoulder as she joined Emmett and started walking toward the door.

We entered the bar and quickly found our table. It wasn't to long before we were elbow deep in burgers, onion rings, pitchers of beer, and just plain good conversations.

As I drank my Miller, I looked around the table at my new friends and was really enjoying myself. Alice was sitting on Jasper's knee feeding him onion rings, Rose was watching Emmett stuff the biggest burger I had ever seen in my life into his mouth. Edward was sitting beside me, looking at me. WHAT?

"Do I have something on my face?" I asked him

"No, I was just looking." he replied with a half smile.

"Oh, well let me know if I am going to embarrass myself would ya?" I told him. It was disconcerting to have someone staring at you. Much less having someone who could have been a stand in for a male model in GQ. I am not being silly- the man is beautiful.

It was decided by our own little tour guide that we would head across the street for a little rhythm therapy. I like to dance, only when I am by myself and the blinds are shut. I am more of a closet dancer. I tend to get nervous when I think people are watching me, and have been know to fall,numerous times in one night.

Alice was thinking I needed something a little stronger than beer, or at least that's what I was hoping she was thinking when she got a round of shots. Tequila, lemons and salt were passed around. I am just glad there were no suggestions of body shots. Licking, sucking and slamming in front of these people was enough for me. I wasn't worried about holding my alcohol, I had held my own with those guys in Phoenix. In fact, it was kind of a running joke with James and his buddies that I could drink most of them under the table. Lightweights, I would tease them. I was just starting that trip down memory lane...

"It's going to be OK" a male voice whispered in my ear. Jasper had read my mind.

"Thanks" I said as I turned to face him. " I am a little nervous. This is the first time I have really been out in a long time."

Emmett had leaned in, "no reason to be nervous in here, everyone knows us."

"That's what I am afraid of." I chuckled.

Alice and Rose were up talking to the DJ that was setting up for the evening. It seemed that they were selecting music for the evening. I turned back to the bartender and ordered a jack and coke. Edward was talking to a pretty blond that was sitting at the bar. She was pretty in a way that reminded me of a wanna - be actress, you know the type, everything is perfect. To perfect to be real, hair- is -to blond, teeth are to white. I wondered if she was his typical type.

Alice plopped down next to me on the stool. "Billy said that he would get things going here in about an hour. What are you drinking Bella?"

"What things are we getting going and a jack and coke."

"Aren't you worried about getting sick? I can't mix drinks at all"

"it has never really bothered me."

"Let's go play some pool in the game room." Rose said, she had returned from the bathroom. I was glad to learn that these girls didn't find it a necessity to travel in packs to the bathroom all the time.

The game room was attached to the back bar there were a few people in here. We grabbed a table and a high top that was nearby. I sat down at the table. I wasn't a big pool player, more content to watch. I noticed that Edward didn't come back with us. I wasn't sure that I cared. I soon was laughing and cheering the girls on as they played their men and was smack talking. Alice was a little bit of a pool shark.

There was a jukebox in the corner. I decided to go check it out. There was a nice mix of music on it, I was surprised. I chose some oldies but goodies, and made my way back to our table. It was beginning to get crowded. I was stopped a couple of times by guys with the same lame pick up lines that I heard when I was 21 and would go out with our friends. By the time I made it back to our table, my songs were playing. Rag Doll by Aerosmith blared out over the speakers. It is impossible not to walk to the beat of the beginning of that song...

Alice caught my eye and tilted her head towards the table. I saw that Edward had joined us, and he had a tag along. The girl from the bar was sitting in my seat.

"Ahh, there she is now, Bella, I was just telling Lauren that we were taking you out tonight to show you the town." Edward waved me over to the table.

I could tell that Lauren was less than thrilled to meet me. She did the appraising look with the quick surmise that I wasn't competition, leaned her body into Edward, and said," So nice of these guys to invite you out, it must be very hard moving to a new town alone and not knowing anyone."

"Actually everyone I have met so far has been wonderful. I feel as though I fit right in with the atmosphere." liar, liar, my pants on fire.

"Bella, let's head over to the other bar and get a drink." Rose, said as she came up beside me.

As we walked back over to the other side, I noticed a pained look cross Edward' s face. I almost felt as though I should turn around and go rescue him some how. But, he's a big boy right?

We grabbed another round of drinks and Alice joined us. She bounced up to the rail where we were watching the dancers on the dance floor. "Let's go." she shouted.

"Go? Go home? " I shouted back.

"No, let's GO!"

"I don't dance. At least not in public places."

"To bad, so sad," Rose shouted back at me as they lead me on to the dance floor.

I made it through the wilderness...  
Somehow, I made it through...

Laughing our asses off to Rose mimicking Madonna's "Like a Virgin" video, I realized maybe earlier I wasn't such a liar. I was enjoying myself. I never was a dancer, but I could keep up with the Rose and Alice, thanks to some strip aerobics I had taken.

I was beat... incomplete

I was turning in a circle, not paying attention to what was going on...

"I've nothing to hide. Like a Virgin"

I guess that's how I ended up dancing with Mike from the sporting good store the other day. I felt hands on my hips coming from behind me and all I could see was Alice's face.

It was a mix of horrified laughter and astonishment. I was hoping the laughter was from the look on my face when I realized who was slobbering in my ear, and not my dancing.

"Hey Newton, Lauren is in the back bar, she was talking about how much she missed you." Rose leaned in and grabbed Mike's arm. I used this as my diversion tactic to move across to dance beside Alice.

"She is? hey thanks Rosie, about the other day, I am sorry. Where is that new girl? I would like to tell her sorry too. " Burp, Mike was holding on to Rose now, it was as if he needed to be touching someone to be able to stand.

I guess he didn't recognize the ass he was holding on to. Not that I was complaining.

"You had better hurry Mike, she said she was going home early." Alice interjected.

Mike tripped going up the stairs as he scurried to the other bar.

As it turns out the guys were looking for us, drinks in hand. It was a little breath taking to see the three cutest guys in the bar walking towards us. Emmett grabbed Rose's hand and lead her back out on the dance floor to finish dancing to "Brick house." Alice and Jasper were cuddling, leaning up against the rail. I think she was soothing his hurt feelings over beating him earlier.

Watching the bodies on the dance floor, I was very much aware of the warm body pressed up against my side. Maybe I should stop with the whiskey. It seems to be doing strange things with my temperature regulation. The table that we were standing beside was empty, so I slipped off my jacket and set my drink down. I was thinking about that country song, something about tequila and clothes, but I couldn't exactly remember the way it went.

"Are you having fun?" Edward said, having to lean in close for me to be able to hear him. Dear God! This man smelled good enough to lick, a mixture of soap and the best smelling cologne that I have ever smelled.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?

Note to self, no more jack and coke, or tequila, ever.

"Yes, are you?" there that was a well put together reply. I thought smugly.

"I like seeing them have a good time." He gestured to Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rose. They were all dancing to Bust a Move. Emmett was doing the running man and the lawn mower. Rose was acting like she didn't know him. It was very cute, nice to see people who could give a crap what people around them thought. There was a decent amount of people on the dance floor. It was around midnight. I wasn't really sure when it had gotten so late. The DJ was playing mostly older music that everybody knows. It was nice.

Edward and I were still people watching and making small talk. It seemed neither one of us wanted to shout, and I wasn't about to get myself within licking room again. I felt I could finally a few songs later, when Alice noticed us. She motioned for us to come out to the floor. Vanilla Ice was playing, I was enjoying watching them have fun, I just wasn't so sure I wanted to partake myself.

"Where did Lauren take off to?" I asked.

"Mike came in and swept her off of her feet."

"With his breath?"

Edward laughed. "They have been a couple for years. We all went to school together. She isn't my type, I have to remind her of that every once in a while, then she runs back to Mike."

"It must be hard having to turn all the women away." Captain Smartass at your service.

"I didn't mean it like that." "She isn't my type."

"So what is?"

"What?"

"Your type? Never mind you don't have to answer that."

"No, I can answer, I like smart women, who aren't afraid of a little adventure. Someone who can enjoy a evening out with me and my friends." He did have the most amazing brown eyes. They were the color topaz. When had I noticed this?

The rest of our party joined us at the table. Playfully making fun of one another.

"I am going for one more drink then we are all dancing." Alice informed us.

Oh, what the hell, in for a minute, in for a mile. I thought as I walked with them over to the bar. I wasn't sloppy- I never got sloppy. I just felt good. We returned to the table with our drinks.

"Where did they go?" Rose asked Alice.

"Oh my God" I said. Big chug of drink- now, I had the feeling I wasn't going to be left behind when they returned to dance. "They are dancing"

On the floor, there was an awesome rendition of Michael Jackson's Thriller going on.


End file.
